This is gratifying.

The Truth About Lying

2010-01-24T11:05:00.000-05:00

The very funny thing about lying is that I'm very good at it, when I really try. But I do have a conscience (or at least the footprint of where mine once was).

So I don't lie often; therefore, I often tell people very blunt, awkward things that make me feel uncomfortable to say. Or I tell them ridiculous things, because my life is frequently ridiculous. Between being ridiculous and being rude, my truthiness is often obscured and misunderstood as lying. My profuse perspiration, stuttering, and inability to "get it right the first time" doesn't bolster my case; however, I am telling the truth.

So the question is - which should I do, lie and save social-face? Or go to Heaven? Or at least die thinking I'll be going to a place with 47 virgins - and I don't mean I want to die in a convent. I mean, I take pride in my voluntary honesty, it makes me feel good, and like the saying goes, "The Truth will set you free."

Actually, wait, I want to stop for a minute and discuss this adage - will the Truth really set you free? I mean, of course it won't (unless you're a poor liar), so what does it mean? My succinct answer is that the Truth only sets yourself free - and that you are only free from insecurity.

So either you lie, and not make people mad (while losing a little grip on reality each time), or you don't lie, save face, and look like the BAMF you are.

Hm... Did I tell you I like your hair?
.

Energy, and lack thereof.

2010-01-21T14:33:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I haven't posted in a while. My bad. I just don't have the time, or the energy, or anything to write about. So...

Kidding, I have a ton of stuff to write about, just not the time. However, I've found that this idea has been digging at the back of my head, desperately attempting to get out and into the open - so here we go.

Please people, quit the Objectivism. It just doesn't work, and while Ayn Rand may seem like a hyperbole to you, I can assure you, her work is simple clairvoyance. Sure, Haiti, it sucks that an earthquake happened - but dear Jesus, quit sending our tax dollars down there. I'll donate my own money, as I see fit, to the charitable organizations that I find most efficient (or at least the ones that make it most convenient for me to donate), but don't tell me I have to. I don't. You can f#&$ off. Seriously.

If I were a crazy, Robertson-zealot who really did think that Haiti was incurring the wrath of God (with interest, mind you), then my freedom of religion is being oppressed because you're stealing my money to support sinful, Satanic heathens.

Just a test -

If you were walking down the street with a friend the day after the first quake hit Haiti, and you say, "I really feel for those Haitians, so I'm sending my next paycheck down there. What are you going to donate?"

If your friend says, "Nothing, it's just not a good time for me to donating money, I can barely make my rent this month," are you going to have him arrested?

Obviously not; therefore, why is it okay to send tax dollars (which if you don't pay you can be thrown in jail for) to a cause not everyone (although the "not everyone" is a religious fringe group, for the most part) finds justifiable.

Instead, why don't we invest our money in companies pledging to help Haiti create jobs and new infrastructure? Or at least use our money to support companies who are directly sending aide?

$ $ $

2010-01-08T10:16:00.000-05:00

Money makes the world go 'round, no?

And boy, do I need some. Let's see -

I'm going to college for at least two years, probably three... I do have an $8,000/year admission-based scholarship already in the bag. This will only apply to my undergrad years, though, and it stills leaves me with $10k per year to pay for. This is on top of my graduate studies, which could easily come to $25,000.
A violin is expensive (finally got word from the "violin guy", and I'm looking at $400 just for the instrument... now I need a bow, strings, rosin, neck rest, case, and lessons... oh, yeah, and music to play).
I just signed up for a trip to Chicago in March. Good bye $300+.
On top of that, I have everyday expenses - many of my own groceries, my gas, my cell phone, my books, my dates, yada yada yada.

But I'm going to retire the rest of this post to the first bullet - scholarship money, college tuition, and loans. And such.

What am I to do? I've realized that working now to pay these things is futile - the few thousand I may make between now and August will not scratch a dent. Essay scholarships don't pan out quite like one hopes, either. So... I've decided that I'm going to um... I don't know.

I figure I'll learn Mandarin and Arabic in college, and then I'll join the Military. Since I'll be smart, they won't make me hold a gun or potentially die. Instead, I'll hopefully be put in some sort of intelligence. I'll be able to defer my loan payments while serving, and they'll reimburse some tuition for me. Since my living expenses will be relatively small, I can put my salary towards my loans. This enlistment will also serve a second purpose - I'll be able to gain security clearance, which I need to work my dream job - an intelligence officer in the CIA (or NSA or FBI or any other of the myriad of intelligence agencies).

I think that's a good plan. Yeah.

2010.

2010-01-07T19:20:00.000-05:00

Yeah, well. Screw you 2010 - you're good-for-nothing and exactly like 2009. I'm just looking out for 2012 now. You've already broken many of my Resolutions, and quite simply, I'm now just riding out the remaining 358 days. With the exception of June 3rd - I'm going to exert an effort on that day.

All joking aside, I haven't been living up to my New Year's Resolutions quite like I should be. I certainly haven't blogged every other day, and while I've been exercising vigorously - I dropped the ball on the first three days. The violin thing isn't coming through quite as planned, my "violin guy" hasn't returned my call and is apparently unable to find a violin for me. However, I have been reading and going through my Math textbooks. The German and Italian have been on the back burner (because of the violin thing), but since that may not come to fruition.

But, one cannot plan life - after all, not only is one human, but one cannot expect who texts them wanting to talk at 10 o'clock, nor can one expect one's frazzled teacher to need something done after school.

If you'd ask me about spontaneity a few months ago, perhaps in 2008, I'd say "Chinga Estes"; however, now I'm quite a fan of spontaneity. Life is much more interesting when happiness jumps out of the blue, and even when the happiness isn't jumping out at you, it's quite easy to reach into a shallow pool of "feelgoodiness" and pull out a book (on my new Kindle!!!) or a movie or an album to occupy the time until happiness leaps out at you.

And on that note, happiness is leaping out at me right now. Auf Wiedersehen.

A violin on the run with a bucket of paint to the New Year's Rockin' Eve. Not in that order.

2010-01-01T01:56:00.001-05:00

So, to kick off the new year in a very awesome way, I'm going shopping on Wednesday; not for clothes (okay some maybe), but for my violin. Did you think I was kidding?

Bam, New Year's resolution started.

Also, my Kindle should be in Saturday or Monday - this is going to make reading fun!

Bam, New Year's resolution started (and made easy).

I am almost done painting, and am going to wrap it all up tonight - this will leave me with NO unfinished projects, meaning I can concentrate on those math textbooks of mine.

Bam, New Year's resolution made possible.

I'm going to go run tomorrow (or is that today? I mean, it is 1:51 AM)

Bam, New Year's resolution planned.

But enough about bettering my life - I want to speak about someone else for minute.

Dick Clark - zombie or puppet?

That's right folks, you heard it here first - Dick Clark is a zombie. Straight up zombie - and not even the fun kind you can hide in a bar from like in Shawn of the Dead. He's just going to kill us all, beginning with the sheeple who crowd around a pretty shiny thing in the sky of Times Square.

Furthermore, Ryan Seacrest is sadly being bred for the job of ringing in the new year every 365 days - this is where the puppet part comes in. I mean, look, you can even see the stick up his shirt. Or the strings on his sleeves. I'm not sure where the humour is hidden, though...

Ice Truckers

2009-12-28T11:44:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I got this fanciful shirt from the Gap, and some sweet-ass (and by that I mean my ass looks sweet in them) pants from there, too. Also, two pair of jeans and a shirt from A&E. This made my trip to Dayton worth it - even though I had to drive back to Ansonia in the Blizzard of '09.

Yes, I Ice Trucker'd my way up I-75, nearly rear-ending the car in front of me, sliding into the median, and weaving in and out of lanes. After hopping off in Tipp City, we proceeded to eat some delicious Cassano's Pizza (which was delicious, despite my constant glancing out-the-window to see snow falling like a white blitzkrieg).

We stomped on, ABS whirring and hazards flashing up St. Rt. 571 to St. Rt. 48, where the snow plowers were seemingly taking their 5's simultaneously. Also, apparently St. Rt. 48 becomes hilly and curvy around Pleasant Hill (well hello to you Mr. Light Pole). Resisting the temptation to pull-over and go gently into the night, I maneuvered like Todd Palin through the curves, avoiding guardrails and trees. As we neared St. Rt. 36, I nearly slid into the intersection; however, we crossed onto the cleanly plowed road safely. From there on the excitement died, and we made it home safely. I'm disappointed, actually.

The New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-26T13:00:00.001-05:00

Hmmm... on this fine Post-Christmas Saturday, I've decided to write up my list of New Year's Resolutions (which, by the way, are NOT bound to fail). I think I have a good start so far:

Read at least a book a week
I have these math textbooks that I need to use to brush up my Arithmetic skills, so I'm going to try to make it through one section a week
Run 6/7 days a week
Write a blog post every other day
I have these German textbooks (see a pattern?), so I'm going to try to get through a section a week in these as well
I made a resolution last year to read the Q'iran, but I didn't do it, so I suppose I'll carry that one over
Actually clean out my closet and keep it cleaned - I have far too many clothes that I haven't worn in years (or worst, I've never worn once)
Cut back on the amount I sleep
Replace this sleep with more coffee, and good coffee too, I mean, I got this very nice Starbucks coffee for Christmas, it's much better than my 240-gazillion oz. canister of Folgers.
Learn how to play either the piano or the violin. I don't even know why, but I have a lot of time on my hands and I need to start using it to my advantage.
Oh, yeah, I'm going to cut back on my sleepy time, did I say this?
I'm going to have to if I'm going to vacuum and dust every week, and do laundry so much that I never have "overflow" again.
I'll never be able to sleep if I follow through with my plan to learn Italian - from textbooks I have sitting all lonely in my Barnes and Noble cart.
Sleep? What sleep? I'm going to be learning two languages, an instrument, and math, all while being OCD to the hilt and exercising everyday.

I need that good coffee now, this Folgers tastes like 2009.

Happy New Year!

Knock Knock

2009-12-20T21:32:00.000-05:00

Who's There?

Smell Mop.

Smell Mop who?

Smell your poo? NO!

You know what's funnier than that?

Government. It's a joke - always has been, always will be. I've been a conservative all my life, but recently I've realized that while their fiscal policies (which are always more important than social issues, PERIOD) are in line with what's best for society, their social policies are tyrannical.

Why don't we just all care about and for ourselves and those around us? What is so hard about personal accountability? Why do we need government AT ALL?

This is why I changed my "Political Views" section to Anarchist today.

A Prescription for our Politicians

2009-12-16T12:44:00.001-05:00

After controversy over a policy that would allow citizens to import cheap pharmaceuticals, I have only one thing to say -

If our politicians aren't looking out for us, we need to write them out a nice, healthy dose of boot.

I mean, seriously, if those we elect are not looking out for us, and are rather looking out for the guy who pays his lunch tab, the guy that rents him his luxury condominium on the cheap, the guy that supplies him with free golf outings, and the woman that wines and dines him with her blouse half-buttoned, why bother?

I learned in school that we live in a representative democracy; however, I've grown to realize that, instead of a democratic society, we live in a capitalist-fascism society where the government is underhandedly "bought out". When puppetmasters secretly manipulate parties, candidates, platforms, and politics in general, we no longer elect true leaders; or, when we do, they are soon seduced and manipulated by the Jezebel that is Washington, D.C.

Democrats and Republicans are guilty of this. I'm sorry, but Dick Cheney is a war-hawk because of his Haliburton buddies. And I'm sorry, but Al Gore is a climate-freak because he stands to make money and power off of it.

Eff American politics.

Well I Heard...

2009-12-13T01:23:00.000-05:00

There was a secret chord, that David played and it pleased the Lord.

But you don't really care for music do you?

Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift.
The baffled king composing hallelujah.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelu~ujah.

It's interesting how God works. How God puts you in your lowest low just to make you see the light of day. While I may not know what the future holds, and while my heart is still tender, I am amazed at how he works.

I am happy.

And since I am happy, and back to what I consider myself (except for the fact that my room is devastated from a week's worth of neglect), I must reinvest in your intellect by informing you of yet another current event.

There is water on the moon.

Personally, I don't share the surprise many felt at this fact. Using the current theory of our moon's creation, it would be logical that there would be water on it.

Actually, wait. I retract that thought.

Think about it... the water cycle requires at atmosphere, does it not? If there were no atmosphere, the water would simply evaporate into nothingness. Right? (Seriously, is my physics correct?)

Therefore, the moon must have an atmosphere.

If there is an atmosphere, there must be life supporting the natural cycle of gases that make up the atmosphere.

If there is live, there is evolution occurring.

So I suppose my question is - should we touch the moon?

I'm going to logical summarize this thought - If there is an atmosphere on the moon, and there must be because of the existence of water, then there is "life". When there is life, there is evolution. When there is evolution, there was/is/will be intelligent life.

What if this intelligent life rivals humans in their capacity? Are we not wrecking their future, even though they are only "potential"? Liken this to a right-to-life abortion argument; it is not necessarily about the life we are wrecking, but about the potential for life.

I mean, this apex of evolution could solve all our problems. They could have six eyes. They could be the fabled Nephilim (for those who take Creationism as a microbiology metaphor) for all we know. Actually, the whole fact-of-the-matter is that we DON'T know; therefore, we should just leave it alone. Don't bother with it, don't fuss.

In short, don't mess with God's plan - he knows what he's doing, and he does it well.

And yes, I just brought God full circle in an argument. I'm such a bad ass Deist. I love myself :)

Rachel Ray and Anonymity. Also, Chicken soft tacos.

2009-12-08T22:27:00.000-05:00

Today was a really good day, and I needed that. I'm going to make my blog post short because being social wears me out.

HOWEVER, I did promise Rachel Ray and Anonymity; therefore, here it is -

RR has a "Mystery Taster" on her show. This person comes in and tastes her food and does a little interview, and they're typically interesting people.

I think this is true to life, sometimes you run into your own "Mystery Taster", and while they not be trying your EZ Cheezy-Mac, they certainly will leave a "taste in your mouth".

Wow, I need to quit blogging about my feelings.

Misery, Company, and annoying idioms.

2009-12-07T22:00:00.000-05:00

Does misery love company? I find myself wanting to be around others, sure, but when I am - I'm certainly not miserable. What is the definition of this phrase? Does it mean misery loves company because misery is out to oust itself? Or does misery love company to spread its wrath?

What is misery? In my opinion, misery doesn't last long enough to gain company. It's much like a lightning strike - it's there and gone before you know it, but in the end you're still wondering why the hairs on your neck are standing tall.

Then again, I'm talking about misery because it's miserable, and my audience is theoretically my company.

However, I'm done being miserable - I've noticed it's a choice. Let's move on to something more intellectual.

Actually, I'm fresh out of ideas, so I'll let whomever comments on this post first direct my next blog post. First to claim wins!

21 days

2009-12-04T12:50:00.000-05:00

If I were to die today, if I were in front of God I'd hope I'd be judged on my good character and the good things I've done.

But I can't help but think of God as an advocate of organization, productivity, and an all-around sane lifestyle. If that is true, I'm going to hell.

I think I am the worst person in the world when it comes to having good habits; I'm simply terrible - I have the worst dental hygiene in the world, I forget everything all the time, I'm habitually late, I have to set alarms an hour early just so I can hit snooze 20 times, and I never do what I'm supposed to... With this last comment I must apologize to the five people or so who actually read this thing. I've bored you with no new postings in a week, and not only do I feel guilty, but I feel inadequate without an audience. In order to right this wrong, I'm bound to make this blog a habit of mine, and as they say, it takes 21 days for an action to become a habit. So for the next 21 days I will blog EVERY day (in addition to brushing my teeth, that dental hygiene needs to become a habit too).

So, today is the first day, and as such I will celebrate it with a post about something that is first....

First born children? Blech, they always whine and moan about the "babies" getting everything, very uninteresting.

First is a homophone to thirst (kind of...), but I'm very uninterested in the world's impoverished, so no.

I could write about the first person to do something, but everyone does that - it's so cliché.

I could write about the first time I skipped school to do something ridiculously unworthy - like a hair cut, lunch at Red Lobster because I thought I wasn't getting enough Omega-3 fatty acids, or to buy paint.

To be honest, I knew what I was going to write about, and everything you just read was filler. Sorry. But now for our feature presentation...

The English First Movement

The "English First Movement" is a group dedicated to the promotion of English as the official language of the United States, and to the overall protection of it from invasive tongues; however, what the group fails to realize are the implications of purposely stagnated a culture and their language. The stagnation of anything leads to its extinction - this is due to evolution, and whether one is a Creationist, Darwinist, or a believer in Panspermia, evolution is a fact!

Using an ecosystem as the simplest example, when the species in an area cease to mutate, they will go extinct. Creatures must adapt to their changing environments in order to survive; if an invasive species of beetle moves into an area, the trees that have a resistive mutation to the beetles (like a hardy bark, a poison, etc.) will not die - whereas the trees who did not change will. Now, let's make the jump from Biology to Sociology, shall we?

Cultures, like creatures, must adapt to survive - or else they will be eradicated by more productive, efficiency, pleasurable cultures. Before I go on, I feel like I must support this theory with an observation about capitalism, Christianity, Hispanic Culture, liberalism, and globalization (I swear this will all make sense).

OK, for those not in the know, we're in this cool thing called globalization, where borders are being torn down and a global economy is being created at a rate that makes international relations inevitable. Those countries are most productive (cheapest labor, most resources, best technology) will succeed in this global battleground, whereas countries who do not will fail.

With this fact in mind, we must now look at Hispanic culture. I cannot explain how, but it is evident that Hispanic culture promotes a good work ethic - and it is evident that a good work ethic will contribute to the success of a state in this "globalized" economy.

OK, now back to the English First Movement. This movement is obviously a means to prevent Spanish from melding with English to become Spanglish; however, by doing this, Hispanic culture's fusion with our WASP culture will be stymied. This is obviously bad.

Why would a culture want to exclude another, especially when the opposed culture is productive and valuable? I understand if you want to suppress drug fiends, thieves, and rapists, but why the people who do the laborious work of picking tomatoes or mopping floors?

I'm sorry, but you EF people have no grasp of the implications of imposing an inflated value on a culture. You will not only stymy the productivity of the Hispanic culture, but will wreck your own. Instead of compromising with a fusion of a "Spanglish" culture, you will end up with a dead WASP culture, and a flourishing Spanish culture. Cultures MUST be allowed to evolve, or else just like the trees, the vermin beetle you have made Hispanics out to be will eat you alive.

Oprah, Part Deux

2009-11-21T00:53:00.001-05:00

Oprah, Oprah, Oprah! Why are quitting?

However, on a more serious note, why are you giving your time slot to Dr. Oz of all people? Why not Ellen Degeneres? After all , she was on the cover of your magazine recently...

Seriously, Oprah, don't quit, and I suppose if you have to, do not give your time slot to Dr. Oz! Just because he can tell you the best way to douchè, or lose fifty-gazillion pounds in time for that date (~~and heavens know you need it Oprah~~), does not make him fit to run the afternoon primetime.

Is he going to give his whole audience cars? What about pulling a wagon of fat? How are black presidents going to get elected anymore? What about Tom Cruise? Dr. Oz has no couch to jump on!

Oprah, c'mon. Not even Rachael Ray? She's a Harpo production, why not her?

30 Minute Meals > 30 Minute Mammograms

However, I'd like still Ellen to take your spot! So I suppose the hierarchy is:

30 Minute Minus-Male Makeouts > 30 Minute Meals > 30 Minute Mammograms

On second thought, just don't quit, Oprah! I mean seriously, I imagined your eulogy being televised during your time slot, with the priest doing that funny "yell announcing" thing you do - y'know, where you stretch out the name of the person and give it a little staccato?

Actually, you know what. Screw that, give me Ellen tonguing Portia for a half hour and I could care less if you're on TV.

Procrastination

2009-11-19T22:57:00.000-05:00

More to come, later.

Oprah

2009-11-19T12:55:00.000-05:00

I was watching TV during my lunch when I noticed Oprah was going to give at makeover to two horrendous looking men that afternoon - which is nothing new, of course. However, I also noticed that they called one of the horrendous men was monickered "a Grizzly Adams". I thought Grizzly Adams was a real person, not a type of faux persona?

A google search and wikipedia link later....

So, Grizzly Adams was a real person; however, all that we know of him stems from a small biography - insufficient evidence for the cult following and disseminated image. Instead of calling Grizzly Adams just what he was, or sticking to what we know, the media has created a "strawman" character that's every bit as fake as the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.

Is there an abstinent Christian? A single mother? Nuclear families? A honest politician? Global Warming? A peaceful Muslim? A poor Jew? Impoverished Caucasians? Educated African Americans? Legal Mexicans?

What is real and what is conjecture?

It is hard to sift through the ubiquitous information presented to us on a daily basis; however, it must be. Without proper drainage, the vast quagmire of thoughts, ideas, facts, surveys, opinions, and questions that sits in our radios, televisions, and computers will drown our minds. The media presents faux figures to state their cases, raise their ratings, and credit their data - politicians and talking heads do the same as well.

No one you hear, see, or read is exempt from this postulate of dishonesty - not even Oprah.

Apparently

2009-11-18T23:18:00.000-05:00

When someone tells you something, you should never relay that knowledge to anyone else for any reason whatsoever.

I love it when you know a secret, but you don't know it's a secret. I suppose from now on, in order to air on the side of caution, anything anyone tells me must by accompanied by written notification (notarized as well)in order to pass it the information on to anyone else. I also should take a vow of silence. Perhaps I should cut my tongue off. I know! - I will tape my mouth shut forever.

Or... we could just not tell Tyler secrets, mmmmmmmmk?

I never believed in Stephen King.

2009-11-18T17:16:00.000-05:00

But Kujo attacked me today.

For shits and giggles (and a run in a different setting than the HS track), I went to this nature center just outside of Ansonia. As I stepped out of car, I noticed Kujo barking at me. I sidled into the gate, being sure to never show my back to him, and when I got inside Kujo had turned away, seemingly uninterested - so I began to run.

I begin to sprint, hearing the barking behind me. I turn to the right, jumping on top of a picnic table; I stand still, watching the mutt bark and sniff for me about 30 meters away. After deciding that he's only getting closer, I dart through the untrailed woods. He follows.

I grab for a tree to climb, but it has no branches. I run. I slip on a slick paddy of leaves, get up, and dash to the fence. I jump over it, hoping to leave the canine Satan behind. Somehow, Kujo is on the other side of the fence as well. Slowly, I walk, pausing when he gets too close. Sure to never show my backside, I have to make a large arch back and forth across the road to the parking lot. When I am twenty meters away from the car, I unlock it. Kujo begins to turn away, uninterested.

I run.

I throw open the door, literally jump inside, slam it shut, and lock it.
Then I start the car and peel the hell out of there.

In hindsight, the speeding away wasn't necessary...

Rush Limbaugh

2009-11-18T13:16:00.000-05:00

Dear Rush,

You are such a narcissist. I think I'm going to quit listening to talk radio because of you.

Sincerely,

Tyler.

But seriously, why does the world revolve around a talk radio host for the three hours they're on? And then why do people just gobble up everything they say like it's the divine truth? PEOPLE! Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, O'Reilly, Levin, Boortz, Dr. Savage (and the MSNBC pundits like Maddow and Olberman) are PAID to SAY the most CONTROVERSIAL things. QUIT TREATING THEM LIKE NEWS SOURCES. They give opinions, and in many cases, uneducated, absolutely retarded opinions.

Also, this blog is the best way to waste time ever. I feel productive, but I'm really just taking a break and procrastinating. Go me!

More randomness - I had Hazelnut spread on a bagel for lunch. I love Hazelnut spread.

My new hobby.

2009-11-18T12:01:00.001-05:00

Well, hmph. I suppose that typing this post in a blog that no one reads will relieve me of my other hobbies that are more time consuming, stressful, and counterproductive. I will probably post random craziness in this blog, so I may as well start now.

I hate Sarah Palin. She is so... unkempt? I don't know how to explain it. Her interviews are horrifying, her appearances gut-wrenching, and her demeanor simply embarrassing.

But why?

Personally, I know I am ashamed to say that I secretly love Sarah Palin because she is unapologetic about Conservatism. In an age where anyone on the right must sheepishly appease the left, Palin forces attention back to Conservative ideas. I love the fact that she has more balls than McCain. I love the fact that she chose to keep and raise her mentally handicapped child. I just love the idea of a strong Conservative - and don't even get me started on the fact that she is a strong Conservative woman.

More to come~!